ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Description
My submission to the Legacy of the Shining Series Contest. For the moment, I'm pleasantly surprised with how well this turned out, though I suspect it might be better if extended a few more scenes.
© 2015 - 2024 Martin-III
Comments4
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Maybe it's just from reading some of his short stories recently in tribute, but this feels very reminiscent of Terry Pratchett's style of writing. In a very good way. 
Like the way you've given Milo - and to an extent Hiro - an introduction and how you've described them. It gives the feel that this is an extract from a much larger SITD-inspired story! What's especially good is how Milo's seemingly shifty appearance (especially those eyebrows! 
) helps to set up the attitudes towards him and Pyra in SITD - perhaps also unfairly from appearances.
One thing I might suggest adding? Milo doesn't seem to be scratching himself!
Like the way you've given Milo - and to an extent Hiro - an introduction and how you've described them. It gives the feel that this is an extract from a much larger SITD-inspired story!
What's especially good is how Milo's seemingly shifty appearance (especially those eyebrows! ) helps to set up the attitudes towards him and Pyra in SITD - perhaps also unfairly from appearances.One thing I might suggest adding? Milo doesn't seem to be scratching himself!